One of the reasons why I started this blog was because several people suggested I blog for my insane and (borderline crazy obsessed) love for the Olympics. While I will attempt to portray my excitement for the games through words, sometimes pictures (or in this case, gifs) do a much better job. Let me present for you gif #1. It doesn’t matter if I hear someone talking about the Olympics or I see a commercial for them, whenever I sense something Olympic related I tend to look something like this:
I’m not quite sure where my love for the Olympics started, but my earliest memories take me back to 1992 when I was a wee lad. I was 8 years old and I can distinctly remember watching the Albertville Winter Olympics with my mom. (fyi, I can name every Olympic host city from modern times. If Jeopardy had a category I would run the board, get a pat on the back from the pompous Alex Trebek and get a standing ovation from the audience. Someday…) It was late at night and my mom let me stay up with her to watch the figure skating competition. I was decked out in a blue bathrobe, matching slippers and team USA pajama pants (my fandom started early, ok?) and I pretended to skate around my family room doing my very best attempts at double axels and triple salchows. Looking back, my parents should have enrolled me in skating lessons or some other Olympic-worthy sport. Thanks for setting me up for a life full of failure and broken dreams mom and dad!
I think the other reason why I love the Olympics so much is that I become an insane and crazy patriot. I LOVE AMERICA and I cry and weep tears of freedom. During the games I become “that guy” – the egocentric, ethnocentric d-bag who will attack anyone and everyone who dare tries to take away an American’s chance of winning gold. I can clearly remember in ’08 during the men’s 4×100 swim relay when some idiot from France (Alain Bernard to be exact) told the American’s before the race that they would “smash” the US. HA! You stupid imbecile, don’t dare try to taunt America because we will CRUSH you. Let me sip my sweet tea and eat my freedom fries and revel in this moment once again…
Then of course there are the dubious cheaters and I am not here for that. I’m just going to tell you all now, China better watch their back this year. Some of us have not forgotten the gymnastics scandal of 2008. I’m watching you China
So here we are, a mere 13 days away from the games! The only thing that would make me more excited was if I could be there to witness the games myself. I don’t even want to talk about how crushed I was when Chicago lost out to Rio for the 2016 games…but SOMEDAY I will make it to an actual Olympics – it is my biggest and most wonderful dream. But for now I will pour myself into the endless TV coverage, download every app available and ignore the rest of the world for the next several weeks. This really should be a national holiday.
Last but not least, if you still don’t understand my passion for the Olympics, do yourself a favor and watch the best 2 minutes of your life. I AM THIS
WOMAN (except in male form obviously…and substitute sponge painting for the Olympics) Oh my gosh…